run.

2012-01-20T06:41:00.002+08:00

Life is much better without all those pretty lies.

2012-01-19T21:24:00.004+08:00

Liar, liar.
Pants on fire.

2012-01-15T19:30:00.000+08:00

i know it isn't romantic to carry out experiments on roses from your man but... will the rose grow roots?

"what's the occasion for the rose?"

"happy first week of school."

(facepalm)

sch of thought.

2012-01-12T14:14:00.068+08:00

on wednesday night, i received a text from sherilyn. sch of thought had apparently messaged her regarding the enrolment of gp classes in 2012. so i eagerly waited by my phone till the next day but no message came): and i turned to bombarding honey bee with my anxieties/101 what ifs. by thursday, i was in a state of gloom wondering why didn't they msg me when i was sure that my name was on the waiting list/why did they abandon me when i loved them so/why oh why oh why oh whyyyyyyyyy.

it didn't help that during chem lecture, xq just had to turn around and chirpily inform me that he got in. he seemed real smug about it (._.) and this only aggravated my depression so i started drawing in my lecture pad, much to the amusement of joey:

ahaha. by then, i was real impatient/depressed (oh no i badly wanted to go for their gp classes) so i dialled their office number. the staff assured me that i'll receive a text soon but i told myself not to get my hopes up just in case those words of assurance were a facade.... but NO! haha hours later! i finally received my text! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

i could barely contain my excitement and was punching my fists in the air/squealing (during chem tutorial).

(maniacal laughter)

poor joey. she had to deal with my dramatic mood change hehe. i proceeded to annoy her for the rest of the day by randomly prodding her in the back and smirking, "heh heh heh". and thank you honey beeeeeee!:)

sch of thought, here i come! (hysterical laughter)

2012-01-11T18:49:00.001+08:00

BEST NEWS EVER.

(i'm not under his thumb)

Resolution of the year: lie low, pretend to be invisible, study hard.

the other side

2012-01-07T00:23:00.001+08:00

Just so to go out with you: i lied about having completed my homework and to make myself feel less guilty about it, i woke up at 230am to complete all of whatever I've lied about completing. and that's only 2.5hrs of sleep, but i bet you couldn't tell.

and why did i do that? I'm sorry i can't always be there to offer you comfort when you need it. i feel equally down when you're down, equally sian about things when you're sian.

and especially distressed when i know i'm the cause of unhappiness in you. sorry. call me a baby or what, argh no I'm not admitting that.

2011-12-30T09:45:00.000+08:00

i imagine myself blindfolded and jumping off a platform, unaware of what i might land on. pillows? knives? pit of snakes? marshmallows? sometimes it's much easier to just block everything out and not see, not hear, not think.

typing out my reflections for isle now and i'd rather be doing something else. these reflections are going to be sent up to the "higher authorities" and ha, how genuine can they be? i find it a waste of time to be sitting here, crafting verbose words to support an idea that i don't believe in - isle. this activity has left me disillusioned about many things and i don't want to pretend that it has left a wonderful impression on me. yes, it has left a mark, but not an entirely pleasant one.

2011-12-29T09:33:00.001+08:00

Let go.

2011-12-20T09:26:00.002+08:00

i've been making morning trips to foooo's house for breakfast/reading/long talks or just simply, hang out. i love his place amd his family there of course. even if i have nothing to say or do, just sitting there quietly and listening to the playful banter/cheeky conversations between his brothers is enough to make me smile. somehow, mama foo's nagging (not at me of course) and papa foo's quiet presence gives off a taste of home. yep, i am simply contented to sit at the table in foo's room, observe the sights outside his window and listen to the household noises (cheerful banter; the soft clanging of kitchen utensils; the sound of water splashing while mama foo does her laundry etc etc)

for a moment, i am brought back to the times when mum didn't have to work, when i had my own noisy house to return to :) three brothers running around and screaming, mum's food. sure, things have changed, now that mum has to work to support all of us but this makes me even more determined to study hard. i want to grow up fast, earn money and give my own family a proper place too:)

alright, don't you laugh at my drawing! haha.

rainy afternoons

2011-12-18T12:20:00.000+08:00

spent a good part of my morning washing two batches of laundry and i am reminded of what it was like in the past. back then, we had our own balcony and i would spend many afternoons there listening to the wind and daydreaming. i would plug in my earphones and submerge myself in those kind of chinese music which are often about breakups and what not, those which gives off a sad, contemplative vibe. haha! nolstalgia! i love household chores like this when i get to be left all alone to think. mindless work. my hands would be busy but my mind would be free to wander off somewhere else.

2011-12-17T08:50:00.038+08:00

it has been raining rather frequently. i love snuggling under my sunny yellow powerpuff girls blanket while listening to the sound of rain falling down on the window sill. cold weather is bliss! the smell of the rain; soft, wet, green grass; muddy roadside puddles; wet flip flops and soaked toes; cold, little droplets splattering everywhere; spontaneous water fights...

and look what i woke up to this morning?

猫1 and 猫2 snuggling together to fight the cold. doesn't this remind you of the yin yang symbol?

GUESS WHAT I DID?

2011-12-14T08:56:00.012+08:00

Guess what stupid me did? I was so engrossed in spring cleaning and transforming my bedroom from a pig sty to a tidy haven that when i found this piece of paper under my table... i couldn't help but let out a little scream :

I had CLEANLY FORGOTTEN about the gp crash course that i signed up for at School of Thoughts! With my own hard-earned/painfully saved money! T.T Sobs. thankfully i could still make it for Day 2 of the course and xunquan&sherilyn were kind enough to update me about the first day. knowing that i would somehow get lost, dear foooo must have taken pity on me hahah. met him in the morning and yes, breakfast at coffee bean! fingers crossed fingers crossed, i really hope school of thoughts contacts me by January! learnt a lot during the gp crash course and tong yee is awesome. was literally hooked to every single word of his and trying to reproduce his words on paper. sherilyn was struggling to stay awake hahaha.

made a short trip with foooo to SAM after the course was over. it was really quiet there. it's been a while since we've had the time for museum trips. Amanda Heng is one weird lady.

2011-12-09T13:19:00.001+08:00

i survived isle.
back in singapore, a little disillusioned about things. well, normally people would be raring to blog about overseas trips and how fun it was bla bla bla but apparently that's not the case for me haha. time to snap back to the world of tutorials and lectures.as depressing as it sounds, but life moves on! :)

2011-11-16T20:50:00.000+08:00

even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong word seem to rhyme
out of the doubt that fills my mind
i somehow find, you and i - collide.

I SURVIVED. PROMOTED!
Second in cohort for both GP and Eng Lit.
Rock bottom for chem and math.
Bio is ... ok, passed.

hey 2012, i'm gonna thrash you!:)

2011-11-15T22:48:00.001+08:00

being stupid might be a blissful thing.

but i'm not.

2011-11-13T13:17:00.010+08:00

we are more alike than you think we are.that cold feeling. if i did the same?

2011-11-11T13:42:00.001+08:00

Meet my cats - 猫 1 and 猫 2. (which translates to mew and mew two hahaha)

猫 1 on the left and 猫 2 on the right. 猫 1 has a slightly more aloof personality whereas 猫 2 is always so endearing. these are the stray cats that i've been ~~illegally(?)~~ feeding. hey before you report me to the Town Council, yes i do clear their unfinished food!

猫 1 is ever so protective of 猫 2. Aww.

On a side note, here's a picture of the rat that 猫 1 caught. i was on the way home one day when 猫 1 dragged a half-mangled carcass of a rat to my feet before mewing proudly, expecting praise. i was dumbfounded since i've a particular soft spot for rodents (having kept hamsters before). the rat seemed to have died a painful death. there were fresh blood trails all over the floor in a red sticky web and i can't help but imagine how the poor rat must have ran before 猫 1 clamped its jaws around its little head):

i am sorry, rat): 猫 1 was just being mean.

to end off, hehe i'm rather excited for dinner tonight with family @ Riviera! even though i don't really have a liking for crabs.

Kitchen Sinks

2011-11-10T20:20:00.000+08:00

Living with my aunt is no easy task. Most women (i consider myself a woman, thank you very much) would be house-proud, kitchen-proud individuals who take pride in ensuring that their living quarters are, at the very least, clean/hygienic enough for habitation. Apparently, not my aunt. Not that i'm exaggerating, but have a look at one of her rooms:

do not be decieved by the seemingly harmless-looking piles of accumulated junk. these little mounds are actually ALIVE and what lurks beneath these depths is definitely not for the faint-hearted. there is a whole eco-system in there, no kidding.

as the old adage goes, necessity is the mother of invention. thus Project Spring Cleaning was born. mum and i have been throwing out my aunt's junk (much to her dismay) and changing a bit of the things around the house. sure enough, my aunt threw fits and tantrums at our spring cleaning project, which we cleanly ignored (pun intended).

alright, kitchen sinks!! it has been bugging me for a long time and i have never really said anything about it but enough! >< in the house, mum would cook whenever she's free since my aunt can't exactly whip a meal without poisoning everyone. i would wash everyone's dishes after meals (since no one else would) but ... my aunt/cousins seems to take this dish-washing service for granted as they have no qualms about clogging up the sink. leftover rice, half-chewed vegetables, chicken/fish bones are all conveniently chucked in the sink until they form a swirl of clutter at the bottom of the sink. i've caught my cousins clearing their noses there before so... human snot is part of the concoction as well. the drainage net gets clogged as the dirt gets trapped there and i would always have to painstakingly remove these icky bits by hand before giving the sink a good scrub!

it is DISGUSTING, having to clear their half-finished dinner by hand and to dig them out. is it so hard to scrape your plates clean before leaving them in the sink? is such a small little request from me so hard to fulfil? despite countless reminders, i am still stuck in the same old routine after meals : wash their dishes, scrub the sink. hours and hours of scouring and scrubbing till my hands peel from the prolonged contact with water. i don't mind the washing, uggh, just hope that they will at least scrape their plates clean.

oh well, i guess we can't grumble much if we're leaving under her roof. yes, i'm very grateful for that.

hopefully mum gets a place of our own soon and yes, i'll be looking forward to moving out! but i know, we wouldn' have the ability to move out in the next few years. i'll study hard and work hard to earn money!:) alright, i've gotta get back to the spring cleaning now. i smell mushrooms and sesame oil cooking in the kitchen. mum's making noodles!:)

2011-11-08T23:08:00.005+08:00

the fragility and unexpectedness of a relationship struck me today. it's almost like a delicate recipe or concoction of some sort. take for example, the use of condiments, like soya sauce, in a dish. too much, and it will muddle the taste, swamping and overpowering all else into dark, murky submission. too little, and the other ingredients seem to be lacking that extra zest. just right, and just as civet musk is esteemed as a fixative in haute parfumerie, prized for its ability to give perfume longevity.

the harder you try, the more you chase, the further it gets driven away. if one chooses to be nonchalant or laid-back about it, it slips past your fingers without you even realizing. we could have very nearly, missed out on each other. it's a war dance of advance and retreat.

it was during one of those long conversations with you that this idea popped into my head. the two of us, seated at a staircase under the orange glow of streetlights,watching the vehicles fly past on the road. the soft lilt of our voices/laughter in the cool night air and just having you for company, made me want to stay longer in that serenity. as usual, we didn't have the luxury of time. simple things like these moments make me feel all warm and happy inside.

simple, simple gestures like... queuing for our food in the food court haha! oh and we just had another moment to add to our list of misadventures: a failed, jumpy rendezvous at the place where you left your car, dear (; hahaha sorry, i can't help but laugh at that!>< come to think of it, it was really funny! hehe! to hell with flowers and diamonds and whatnots bah! (though i think chocolates are a good idea) memories like these are what matters.

2011-11-04T22:19:00.000+08:00

Math, gp, chem and lit. Should i be getting so many tuitions?! Would it even help?!

The thought of burning that hole in my pocket makes me wanna stab myself with a knife. Money ):

I guess it all boils down to the student itself.

Time to clear that pile of papers cluttering my desk and get ready for some serious work.

It's now or never.

A tiny nagging insecurity at the back of my mind ><

I hope we progress at the same pace but never, never lose track of each other.

2011-11-02T16:09:00.000+08:00

PW WAS JUST EPIC.

Ego without ability is just thick-headed. That conceited fool.

2011-10-30T20:47:00.001+08:00

that interminable silence of wait which can only be hidden.

2011-10-30T12:47:00.001+08:00

It feels almost business-like, matter-of-fact, practical. brisk and brief.
disconnected, a little, maybe?
maybe.

2011-10-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

been listening a lot to The Cranberries lately and ah, i love the 90's. i would imagine myself speeding down a winding road in the night, with the windows down and the cold night air brushing past my face, intermingled with a hint of rain. then again, i detest driving so that's probably never gonna happen (unless someone acts as a chauffeur haha.)

anyway, post-promo life! (: just when you thought you catch up with some sleep, project work comes calling and oh, there's isle as well. but at the very least, i can finally immerse myself in books. been making frequent trips to the libraries these few days. i've never been the type to buy books. what's the point of having a book all to myself that's probably going to be left sitting on the shelf after it has been read? save money!

oh and i do hope i don't retain. i shouldn't, if my calculations are correct muahaha. and i've a whole list of plans. rough plans for the break from school which include studying of course. and spending more time with the people that matter.

2011-10-28T06:56:00.002+08:00

I don't mean to whine about this but...

those monthly thingies are such a hassle!!! :/

2011-10-24T23:06:00.001+08:00

I guess i can't always be so selfish.

disappointing, frustrated, vengeful -

but oh well. let it go!:)

2011-10-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

VENGEANCE IS MINE. :/
to quote from Wide Sargasso Sea.
ahh saturday plans are RUINED because of a redundant learning journey to Little India.
i hate little garlic so much.

2011-10-23T09:38:00.000+08:00

when will i ever get the freedom to decide how i want to spend my time?
i'm not confined to cleaning, sweeping, washing, cooking, folding etc you know.

2011-10-21T21:16:00.003+08:00

i must say, spring cleaning went pretty well:) was seperating books/notes/papers into the "to throw"and the "to keep" pile. and guess what? i discovered this book/recount that i wrote when i was 13 and it was entirely in chinese. haha chinese!! most of my diaries are in english since it's the language that i'm most proficient in so i was really amused to find a chinese text written by myself ha! it was fully decorated with self-drawn diagrams and photographs stolen from the family album. flipped through it briefly cos i'm afraid of reading it, might wanna kill my 13-year-old self bleh :p there's still lots of work to be done!

ahgong came over today. it's been a while since we spent those afternoons together, chatting away. i lay on my belly, doodled on newspapers and listened to him reminisce about the old times, the places i've never been to and the Singapore that was vastly different from what we see now.

for example, people used to know Sentosa as Blakang Mati and it was named as such because it was the last place to be conquered by the Japs during WWII. haha and apparently, this island used to be owned by some pirate named Yang and there was even a primary school there. he would talk about the hospitality that people used to display as compared to the apathy now. there used to be a 建国队 and people would voluntarily participate in construction projects for free the moment they knocked off from work. this little recount from ahgong made me smile and i doubt it would happen now given today's mantra : "no money, no talk."

sometimes i wish i could have been there to see all these from myself and visit all those places minus all the flashy renovations. i could lie there for whole afternoons, listening to him talk and wondering what things used to be like.

one of these days i'm gonna go charging down east coast park on a rented bike, with the breeze brushing past me and my hair flying. with that toy camera in hand, hehe i'm gonna snap pictures of forgotten corners before they give way to new building/renovation projects. things are disappearing and the landscape is ever-changing huh :/

note to self:
1. study hard
earn enough money to -
2. bring mum/ahgong overseas
3. pay for my own expenses
4. patience, i definitely need more of that :)

on a side note, i wouldn't be that sad if i retained after all (since i 'll get to take ELL) :) hehe it's never the end.

2011-10-17T21:23:00.003+08:00

was randomly surfing and chanced upon this. joey and i ended up dancing on the train haha!

dirty dancing in the moonlight.

take me down like i'm a domino.

2011-10-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

i'm afraid of typing it out here in case anything becomes definite. oh, pride. but yes, i'll be extremely thankful if i somehow scrape through unscathed and progress into the second year. you bet, i'll work damn hard for it and be extremely grateful.

2011-10-12T21:56:00.002+08:00

so we got a key to a room, some stolen time and drowned ourselves in each other.
the way you trailed down my nose,
over my lips,
my chin,
my neck,
and to the center of my chest.
It was so surprising, i knew i would never mimic it.
That one gesture would be yours forever.
Sometimes it feels as if we're cheating, the way we skirt around authorities/rules. there's always fun in the slight danger that we might be feeling haha. at least we have a polaroid to remember this - the two of us standing there, smiling and frozen in time amidst that green sunshine. indelible, indelible, indelible. long bus rides. you, asleep on my shoulders and drooling over my arm(: that was hilarious.

i can still feel your presence lingering on my skin. it's been a while. i miss you (:

2011-10-07T11:58:00.000+08:00

we've been doing this war dance together for some time, i know.

treating love like a battlefield and taking it slow.

will you blink?

what do you think?

the union we propose is dangerous, i know.

love is a game until it's played

and if it's lost, it can't ever be saved

we have heaven to gain and hell to lose

and the difference is up to me and you

so if you will,

i will stop saying i won't.

and start saying

i do.

2011-09-27T16:00:00.001+08:00

there are days when it's silent. words are spoken, but it's still silent.
i watch you work intently, your eyes never leaving the screen.
I hear you typing on the keys,
pen scribbling away on paper,
you shifting in your chair,
a flip of the page,
a sigh,

and i try to have my conversation with those sounds.

there are things that i remember and there are things i miss.
but without you, i'd miss more.

2011-09-27T15:45:00.000+08:00

'cause there's no comfort in the waiting room

just nervous pacers waiting for bad news

2011-09-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

annoyed, annoyed. very annoyed.

2011-09-16T22:37:00.004+08:00

caffeine, oh caffeine. i never thought i ever had to be dependent on you. this non-stop studying, this mad/intense competition just to ... get promoted to j2. it's funny how the thought of retaining NEVER EVER occurred to me. i don't even remembering studying for the olevels (fine, i studied for 3weeks for that exam). fingers crossed, i hope i survive this :X
                                                     //
waking up at obscene hours. cold showers in the morning to jolt myself awake. hair swept to the left, a quick ponytail. spectacles. ~~contacts~~ rushing off without breakfast. math. chem. math. chem. math. chem. math. chem. bio. bio. bio. lit. home; chatter with family; whatsapp with honey bee( no, i don't even get to see his face). sleep at obscene hours.

can't wait for this cycle to end! :/
that feeling. for a long time, you're missing that something and then you get it for that few short moments, before it gets taken away again.

taken
away
again.

i miss you. :(

oh yesss, my fat little bro (wesley) just bought back noodles for me. ah, bless him:) sweet.

2011-09-09T08:42:00.004+08:00

one of my favourite excerpts from The lover's Dictionary :

detachment, n

I still don't know if this is a good quality or a bad one,
to be able to be in the moment and then step out of it. Not just during sex, or while talking, or kissing,
I don't deliberately pull away - I don't think I do - But i find myself suddenly there on the outside,
unable to lose myself in where I am.
You catch me sometimes.
You'll say I'm drifting off, and I'll apologize, trying to snap back to the present.

But I should say this.

Even when I detach, i care.
You can be seperate from a thing and still care about it.
If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away.
I would stop the conversation midsentence.
I would leave the bed.
Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction.

But i always glance back at you.

2011-09-07T21:33:00.000+08:00

why are we waiting?

2011-09-01T23:33:00.001+08:00

keep the ache behind closed doors; bottled in glass;
locked away in a box behind the closet.
only allow it to envelope you as you curl up into a ball at night.
let the unfinished poems peek beneath the stacks.
it isn't the time for those. for a moment, you think you're alone.
wasn't that in a line or in a song that you once heard?
carry on, carry on. wear that smile, please.
but i need you so much closer now.

2011-09-01T06:17:00.001+08:00

5am in the morning and i'm here, staring at a screen, contemplating what else to type into my Written Report. as i replay the words, letting it swirl around my head like wine in glass, i begin to think that maybe, maybe just maybe, he is right. No point isn't it? You gotta keep your head up, but you can let your hair down.

hehe. (:
eat your nutella, dude.

2011-08-31T21:36:00.000+08:00

oh yes, fuck you very much indeed.

stupid chauvinists.

2011-08-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

*screams*

*pulls hair*

somebody give me a sand pit to bury my head in.
oh oh oh i want to jump into the sea and dissolve into nothingness.

2011-08-16T07:13:00.000+08:00

"can't you see?"
"no."

you know what i mean? but not tonight.
sometimes it's like a land mine. one wrong step and it blows up.
a word, a look, lights a hidden fuse.
stop, think, count to ten.

2011-08-13T23:48:00.000+08:00

That secret that you know
that you don't know how to tell
It fucks with your honour
and it teases your hair
But you know that it's good, girl
cos it's running you with red.

And i said i know it well.

2011-08-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

sometimes knowing too much doesn't help.
it's better off not knowing at all.

2011-08-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead

2011-08-09T21:28:00.001+08:00

I decided to go chase the sunset today and look what i found - a rainbow! couldn't help but laugh. it's been a while since i did something like this. aren't the colours pretty? i sat there on the pavement for quite a while, listening to the sounds of the traffic. it was 6+ pm, most people were probably on their way home. how i wish mum could be home at that time too. ah, i love her.

hey honey bee, i miss you!

2011-08-07T15:03:00.000+08:00

Take my hand
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand?

2011-08-05T21:15:00.000+08:00

don't you worry there my honey
we might not have any money
but we've got our love to pay the bills (:

2011-08-04T17:36:00.001+08:00

It feels like we're just going round and round in circles. Oh, the restlessness. Went out to get identical shoes with joey today and we noticed little quirks about each other. For example, she prefers waiting for lifts whereas i'd rather be on the move and walk/take the escalator. Sure, lifts might be faster but i'd rather be on the go. I'd rather run around and play than sit around waiting. After all when you move, they can't get you.

Polar opposites yet somehow identical? This makes me think of converging and diverging graphs at the same time oh no :O Those little unplanned yet synchronised actions like speaking the exact words at the same time or running our hands through the ponytails together - it has always left people dumbstruck! Ha!

2011-07-30T22:20:00.001+08:00

time, slipping through your fingers like sand.
how limited?

2011-07-29T23:41:00.001+08:00

slumped on the desk, staring into space.
aiyo.

2011-07-22T21:09:00.000+08:00

so i went for a little walk, plugged in my ear phones and allowed myself to drift away for a while. those things offer some sort of an inescapable emotional engagement. i imagine myself cuddling in a bed in first class, on a midnight flight to somewhere, crossing over timelines and timezones, drowning myself in indie, with the plane engine purring beneath the music. lights off, cold air, relying on nothing but metal in midair.

people can't always be there for you. you have to rely on yourself for quite a fair bit, isn't it? over time, you just don't hear them anymore. prove me wrong.

2011-07-22T00:44:00.000+08:00

the usual bouts of deep thoughts makes me feel a little breathless. it just so happens that we have different... itineraries? despite this, yet going in the same direction? (i hope so.) one day we would meet half way anyway.

2011-07-19T22:19:00.000+08:00

Drown
Last night we went swimming
the sea stood up and hugged you
as though you were responsible
for keeping it blue

(c)2011 Bianca Stewart

2011-07-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

2011-07-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

boy, we go together like peanuts and paydays, marley and reggae and everybody needs to get a chance to say. Oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart, it goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun. Oh, we could be the stars, falling from the sky, shining how we want, brighter than the sun.

2011-07-11T21:08:00.002+08:00

Every now and then, i just feel like being a little silly. Today was... hectic and the impulse to run was so strong. Fell asleep with my ponytail just now so my neck's a little sore now. I guess I need to do more thinking. Oh i miss you so. Time to get started on workkkk!

2011-07-09T20:35:00.000+08:00

Sometimes they knock me down but
No, i'm not breaking.

ain't about how fast you get there. keep trying.

2011-07-03T22:55:00.018+08:00

things i miss about st nicks:
blue&white pinafores; defying the teachers & other acts of teenage rebellion; 4justice's overall craziness; molly leong's curly hair; bread stall aunties (omg i still rmb that she tried to intro me to her son!) & her toasts; orangebowl!; uncle pang ah choy; auntie meow lang. her potatoes = good stuff; fruit stall auntie&uncle; art room; sitting with legs propped in the most unlady-like way possible; laughing like hyenas; truth or dare; crazy games; the screaming/cheering; the random notes and letters from friends; valentine's day; afternoon prayer time; mrs rosie soh; mrs koh( i used to enjoy math lessons); mrs goh's prep talks; mrs cheong; lilanlaoshi!; girlie talks; outdoor cooking; footdrill; pe lessons; mugging sessions; morning jog; singing loudly; hugs; chiangrai; ultraviolet; girlguides; ixora; chij songs; sports day; cheerleading; large mirrors; pianos; windchimes; 饮水思源pond; running track; macdonalds; balconies; climbing of school gates&classrooms; gym; common tests; lack of exams; enrichment classes; no ear rings allowed; blue&black rubber bands; crying together; ghost stories; polaroids; teachers' naggings; cny celebrations; national day celebrations; classroom design competitions; inter-class games; secretly using the gents; uncle mobeen's drink stall; truthjusticefreedomlove; simple in virture; steadfast in duty!; school hall; skipping ropes; lessons&talks in the mpr; tents; big grass fields; good morning song; trees; forum!; connexio; large wall paintings of biblical scenes; father barre; chalkboards; oily greenboards; kopitiam classroom chairs; red,yellow,green,purple classrooms; linked arms/shoulders; human chains; thousand-legged worm!; making 汤圆; baking; sewing; home econs; dnt lab; how everyone wld call each other “姐妹们"; chijmes; classroom greetings like "thank you, goodbye, have a nice day, god bless you, -inserts teacher's name-"; swings; playground; cheers; family dance!!!; deliberately singing the school song in a deep voice; &etc.

haha i can't believe i actually remember one of the frequently used lines by the teachers :
"温文尔雅，高贵大方,谦恭有礼!" omg i wonder how many times have they actually told us this? :p

i've been spending these few days meeting up with sn friends and it still feels like before! haha looks like that cheesy line in one of the ij songs still holds truth: ij friends are friends for life! to think that i used to be such a rebel in sec2 haha! the school has given me a lot. these are the things that i miss. it's been a while(:

2011-07-03T11:55:00.000+08:00

went out with dew,bobo,beaver,np,kim&may! jumble sales and flea markets make me happy. digging through piles of unwanted clothes only to find some of those treasures that people overlooked. and oh, ringsssssssss.

2011-07-01T21:53:00.003+08:00

That maybe when i die

i get to be a car

driving in the night

lighting up the dark

something in your voice

sparks a little hope

i'll wait up for that noise.

your voice becomes my home

2011-07-01T21:39:00.002+08:00

with only 2hrs of sleep before the bio paper, i guess i must count myself lucky for being able to stay awake for the exam. thankfully, i didn't suffer one of those blankouts (even though it felt like i was on the verge of submitting a blank paper). it's sad to slowly feel the sngirls drifting apart even though no one says anything about it. i'm sure everyone knows. i miss those times when we would roll around on the floor laughing, without a care.those white and blue pinafores seem to be a thing of the past already.
so i plugged in my earphones, blocked everything out and enjoyed a little solitude/detachment on the way home. time to make some changes and continue working hard. or rather, try working smart.

2011-06-28T00:37:00.003+08:00

watching the minutes tick by like hours. waiting. :/
probably forgotten.

2011-06-27T12:03:00.000+08:00

H2 Literature exam today. It was fine considering the fact that i didn't really write notes and yet somehow the points seem to flow out on their own. I shall get my literature notes done real soon.
The poetry section of the paper reminded me of a poem that i read in India, in one of those airport bookshops. I remember standing there for hours, being totally absorbed while my teacher/friend tutted impatiently.

I wonder how you're doing?(: Have a safe trip.

Keep me fully glad with nothing. Only take my hand in your hand.
In the gloom of the deepening night take up my heart and play with it as you list. Bind me close to you with nothing.
I will spread myself out at your feet and lie still. Under this clouded sky I will meet silence with silence. I will become one with the night clasping the earth in my breast.

Make my life glad with nothing.
The rains sweep the sky from end to end. Jasmines in the wet untamable wind revel in their own perfume. The cloud-hidden stars thrill in secret. Let me fill to the full my heart with nothing but my own depth of joy.

Rabindranath Tagore -Keep me fully glad.

2011-06-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

some of the fondest memories i have of us are of those days that revolve around late night outings, street lights, bougainvillea bridges, trees, rain, ice cream, sea, rocks, poems — those planned/unplanned adventures that were quite a roller coaster ride of risk (due to my mum). i love how i can just prop my short legs onto his lap and burrow/crawl into those arms and hide there. or he would lie on my lap and just observe/bury his face underneath my shirt. cheek to cheek, just sitting there and talking as minutes turn into hours that flow along without us even realising it. i will miss that.

2011-06-23T19:29:00.001+08:00

tumblr is getting a little bit crowded so here i am(: